Tuesday, December 16, 2008

No Empathy From Me

I spent the past week sick in bed. This had me a little blue because I'm going to be 40 on Thursday. There are a few things I wanted to do for and by my 40th. I wanted to surf by my 40th birthday, which I had hoped to do this past weekend, but I was too sick. I also plan to celebrate most of the week, and I plan to go to Disneyland.

My body, on the other hand, had other ideas. I woke up last Thursday, and I couldn't put weight on my feet because the pain was so bad. I ended up going to my rheumatologist and she gave me an injection of steroids. She said I should start to feel better by Monday. Of course, I was Ms. Negative, thinking that it wouldn't work, and I'd feel that way for my birthday.

Geoff has a rowing machine, and he's really excited because he's trying to row for the Concept 2 Holiday Challenge. In this challenge he gets a tee shirt if he rows 200,000 meters. I know he loves his rowing machine, and I know he's very excited, but I don't want to hear about his aches and pains when I'm feeling so miserable. I know that it's wrong of me to feel that way, so I try my best not to be moody with him when he complains.

At some point over the weekend, he was talking about his rowing and how he got a blister on his hand. (I should point out that when my husband gets a paper cut, I hear about it half the day.) Anyway, he was pointing out this blister and describing the pain it was causing him, and I was thinking to myself, "You've got to be kidding me! I can't walk here!" I think what actually came out of my mouth was something to the effect of "Uh huh. I see." He responded, "Are you upset with me? Your toned seems resigned." I said, "I don't feel well Geoff." He then said, "Are you sure?" I then told him that honestly, I didn't want to hear him go on and on about his blister. That I was miserable and couldn't walk, and a blister on his hand seemed minimal in comparison. Especially since he got it rowing several thousand meters in a day, when I can't even think about standing up. He responded, "But the blister hurts." Then he said, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I know it must be hard on you, but the blister really does hurt. I just rolled my eyes.

Empathy is pretty hard for me when I'm not feeling well. I know that's hard on my family because Mom/Wife is supposed to be empathetic, but my children are grown and nearly grown. My husband is definitely grown. They need to suck it up. I often do. As you can see, I'm not doing too well on the empathy thing right now.

Anyway, my rheumatologist didn't lie to me. I was able to walk on Monday. I'm still moving a bit slow, and I feel run down, but I'm hoping to be better by my birthday. Overall I feel lucky to be here to complain.

Have a lupie day.


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