Thursday, December 10, 2009

Leaving Dimes on the Elevator

Today was sort of a rough morning. I'm a bit stressed about the final projects and papers I have due for class this week, and I haven't been sleeping much. When I woke up this morning at 6:30 after going to sleep at 2:00 AM, I was in a bit of pain. Moving around helped a bit, but I still had a rough time moving around. The all around pain is just about five feet shy of manageable. My hips were in horrible pain when I left for work.

After I left my apartment, I got on the elevator headed to the parking structure, and I saw a dime on the floor. I remember as a child, I'd always be excited about finding a coin. I often considered it to be a lucky day if I picked up that coin and held it with me for the day. However, today, as I stood on the elevator, I looked down at the coin and thought, "I'm really in a lot of pain, and I don't want to pick it up. But it's money. You shouldn't just let money sit on the ground if you see it. It's wasteful." Then I thought of the value judgment of picking up the dime versus what the doctor's bill would be if something went wrong in the process of my picking up the coin. Then I got sad. Seriously, so much thought shouldn't go into picking up a coin.

But that's lupus. You put a lot of thought in virtually everything you do in a day. What will happen to my sugar or salt level if I eat that? Can I really walk that far? Do I need to wear a hat today? Should I go to that party during flu season? Can I really stay up late tonight? Is this fever high enough for me to stay home? It just goes on and on.

Here's hoping for a better mood.

Later Lupies.



chat de pookie said...

Now Now, you shouldn't even be having stress over the projects. Hasn't anyone told you lately how brilliant you are?! They will be a piece of cake. Some things should be anyway, right. Winter is not a great time for you I know, and I wish I could do something to make it better. I do still have the makings of the feet warmer things. I should really get to that, since it's only been a year since I thought to make them. Keep your spirits up, no matter what, and mentally at least, I'll be there to lean on.

As Vero says, "besos."

Anonymous said...


Lupie said...

I found your blog when I googled Lupie.
I also have lupus and a blog but most of my posts are about my knitting and crocheting.
You can check me out here
I know just how you were feeling about the coins.
When I drop something and look down it's like it is miles and miles away and I will never be able to get to it.When I do reach it I feel it was a huge accomplishment.
I will be follow your lupie journey.

The Lupie Kat said...

Thanks chat. You're always so wonderful. I miss you!
Lupie, welcome to my blog. A lupie knitter. That's spectacular! I'm definitely going to check out your blog.

Barbara said...

lupus beats us all up one time or another. we just have to take one day at a time and work with what the day presents to us. God Bless you all who suffer this illness. I say illness and not disease because disease to me seems so final and for me personally, I am not ready to give up. Just keep on keepin on. Gentle hugs to all. Barbara/dinkbay