Saturday, June 21, 2008

Who's the Mother Anyway?

On Thursday I was supposed to go to a poetry reading to share a featured reading. Usually, I will go to a reading no matter how I feel. The problem with Thursday was that my husband had class and I was going to have to drive myself. Before I was set to leave, my daughter begged me not to go saying that I wasn't in shape to drive. I was a bit cranky with her for trying to tell me what to do. When did she become my mother?! I grudgingly complied with memories of my begging my parents not to drive under the influence. I remember telling myself that I'd listen to my kids if they ever said the same to me, so I did.

Then yesterday morning, my daughter left for school yesterday saying, "Be careful to stay out of the sun today Mom. It's going to be a high UV index." Seriously, when did she become my mother?! I was complaining about this to my friend Didi yesterday. After all, I'm the one who is supposed to tell her what to do. She's not the boss of me. I'm a grown woman, almost 40! I don't need my teenaged daughter to tell me how to get through my day.

As I was midway through this rant, my friend Didi said to me, "You're lucky. You daughter cares about your well being. My family could care less about me!" It was at that point that I took a deep breath and realized, that yes, I am very lucky. My daughter has had a rough year. Her father had cancer a few months ago, after all. She never knows what shape lupus will have me in. It must have her feeling pretty scared and out of control at times. It's understandable that she'd want to control what little things she can. So she tells her father to drink 2% milk, reminds her mother of the UV index, and encourages everyone to exercise. It's her way of feeling in control of an uncontrollable situation.

I am very lucky.

Take care. Live Lupie!



KathyNewman said...

Hi there!

My husband has SLE. I always end up babying him. He was in the hospitable last Nov, with a kidney infection. He complained about a burning feeling when he went to the bathroom. I thought it would go away. Little did I know. Later he was running a high fever. I got him to the hospitable as soon as I could get him there. He stayed there for 4 days. I prayed, and cried every day. I was scared. So now, I try to make him drink water. He does not like doing that. He would rather drink sodas or green tea. I'm not sure if green tea is good for people with Lupus. I have to work 40 hours a week. I can't watch him all the time. I love him and I want him around forever. I know your daughter feels the same way. I guess we know we can't control this Lupus, so we try very hard to make sure that our loved ones take care of themselves.

The Lupie Kat said...

You're right. Those of us with lupus should feel lucky to have people like you in our lives who care enough to remind us to take care of ourselves.

The Lupie Kat said...

Also, on green tea. Research has shown that green tea actually helps people with lupus by reducing inflammation. I personally stay away from green tea because I can't have caffeine, but I don't see how a decaffeinated version of green tea could do harm.