Well, it has been a while since I've written. I've been away on vacation. I go through an odd relationship with my blog. I'll get into a good series of writing and then I poop out for a bit. Then I'm back at it again.
In the past two weeks, I've gone to Hawaii and Las Vegas. Both of these locations on their face are not very lupie friendly vacations, but if you're diligent, you can make it work. I plan on putting together a special page on vacations on my web site at livinglupie.com to provide vacationing while lupie tips.
One thing I want to talk about today is all the e-mail I received while I was away. It's funny because normally, I don't get e-mail, but last night I checked my e-mail, and I had quite a few letters from men who are in relationships with lupie women. They wanted to know how my husband and I make our relationship work, so I'm going to try to focus more on him in my future blogs.
My husband and I went to Las Vegas this past weekend. Las Vegas isn't one of my favorite places to go. It's sunny. It's hot, and it's hard to go places that aren't filled with cigarette smoke. All these things are very lupie unfriendly. The reason we went was to see Ka at the MGM Grand. My husband loves Cirque de Soleil, so I thought it would be a nice thing to do.
First off, I wanted to wear something nice to the show, but none of my dresses fit me anymore. I figured that I could go to the mall on Saturday and find something before the show. Well, when Geoff (hubby) and I were at the mall, it wasn't working too well. Geoff has the new iPhone, and he's very excited about it. Whenever I'd try on a dress, he'd barely glance up from his phone and say whether he liked a dress or not. He used to be a lot more attentive. This reaction caused me to believe that I'm just not that attractive anymore. Since I've been on the lupus meds, I've gained weight, lost hair, and the shape of my face has changed, so I don't feel all that confident about my appearance, and Geoff's reaction wasn't helping in the least.
After a few hours, I tried on this dress where I thought, "Okay. This is the one." I stepped out of the dressing room all excited, and he looked up from his iPhone and said, "I liked the other dresses better" and went back to his iPhone. That was it. To say I lost it was an understatement. I got mad. He got mad. Then he realized at some point that I felt that he didn't see me as attractive anymore. He assured me that he did. All and all, it was a stellar day.
Having lupus can bang up your self esteem. You can have weight gain, hair loss, growing hair in places you didn't before, rashes, tooth problems. I think what we need from the people we love is too feel desirable. We don't want you to lie to us, but we want to be seen as beautiful even if we don't look 100%. We want to know that it doesn't matter. That all that matters is that we're here and we're trying.
That's it for now.
Have a lupie day.